Why Is It So Hard To Surrender?

God why is it
so hard to surrender?

maybe because i am
used to “hard”
and that is not what you
want for me

you want ease and light
and for me to pay
attention to special gifts
you have given me

why is it so hard
to surrender?

i have been successful
on exertion and work
certainly great things
don’t come without work
but can’t it be easier?

i hope to reinvent
my relationship with “hard”
and surrender to
what i already know

a life of writing
connection
and creating

this will take courage
because i believe it
is the unknown
i am afraid of

but i wonder if the unknown
is what God
is trying
to get me to see

so today

i once again surrender

to what
i can’t yet see